We aren’t fishing for compliments on this release, but it might leave you crab-solutely hungry. One suspect seas food and steals food in a not so well-done surf and grab.

On July 26th at approximately 3:43 p.m. Deputy S.A. Edwards was saying “aye, aye crab-tain” when he was asked to respond to a larceny at Walmart, located at 217 Garrisonville Road. Store staff advised they were crab-tivated when they noticed one suspect acting fishy. The crabby suspect stole two steaks and some crab legs. Beef-ore staff could crab, we mean grab, the suspect, he fled a like a bat out of shell. While at first it seemed the suspect might have a leg, or twelve, up on deputies, but that moment was quickly boiled away. Both deputies and store staff were shore of his identity considering they were very familiar with his shellfish thieving behavior. This changed the tides and Deputy Edwards was able to obtain a warrant for the salty shellfish swindle.

The shellfish suspect will feel in a bit of a pinch or like he’s in hot water when deputies locate him. Life might not feel like a beach when he goes from eating surf and turf to eating the Rappahannock Regional Jail special.

If your stomach isn’t wanting to take a deep dive into lunch yet, here is an impe-crab-le seafood boil cooked up by chef and Public Information Officer Wilbur.