You’re not you when you’re hungry. A Stafford man made a not really Smartie choice when his butter fingers turned to sticky fingers.

On March 18th at approximately 1:11 a.m. deputies responded to 7-Eleven, located at 3623 Richmond Highway, for a report of a larceny. Store staff advised a man couldn’t Reese-ist it and stole some sugary sweets. Store staff provided a description of the candy napper as he left on foot.

Deputies were able to locate a man matching the description provided in a nearby neighborhood, just past the lollipop woods. While conversing with the suspect, Deputy C.C. Crossett observed a not so sweet object poking from the man’s pocket. It was a smoking pipe. When Deputy Crossett asked him to remove it, the suspect accidently dropped suspected controlled substances on the ground. There was no sugarcoating the fact the man needed to be placed into handcuffs at that time.

Deputies recovered the stolen candy in the suspect’s possession. To top it off like a chocolate drizzle, the suspect had someone else’s driver’s license in his possession. The suspect earned a golden ticket to Rappahannock Regional Jail where he was charged with larceny, possession of a controlled substance, and identity fraud. He was held without bond.